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Imagine living in a world where squirrel you startled would jump out of a bush and electrocute people. Or that flower you tried to pick was actually a pokemon and just sprayed you with sarin gas?
In that world I would empathize with gun nuts. How else will you deal with the 30-50 feral Lechonk that run into my yard within 3-5 mins while my small kids play?
Imagine a world where someone can destroy a building by summoning a near 30ft rock snake inside it.
Uhh, just punch it to death? It’s a normal type, it’s weak against fighting.
Type barely matters once you’re 5 levels apart.
It might matter a little more in a 30v1 against angry New York commuters.
Eh, Levels bring a linear increase in strength and durability, while an effective attack doubles your damage output. So you’d need twice your opponents level to make up for type disadvantage. Of course, that’s assuming you’re fighting against a pokemon controlled by a human player. However, wild pokemon can’t take full advantage of their type advantage.
Don’t forget the psychic ones. Any world with abundant telepathy and mind control is pretty much guaranteed to be a dystopia.
Hypno was definitely one of the scariest Gen 1 pokemon.
While it awaits its prey, it polishes its pendulum. If anyone comes by, Hypno will hypnotize them and eat their dreams. It carries away people having good dreams and is even known to have stolen a child at one point.
at one point
Weak sauce.
Drifloon:
Stories go that it grabs the hands of small children and drags them away to the afterlife. It dislikes heavy children.
Wow, driftloon’s fatphobic?
I mean if it feeds on them psychically (eating dreams or fear or w/e) then lighter children would mean it could carry more prey at once, making it less about fatphobia and more about efficiency.
Imagine you are just going for a walk on the path near the creek. Then all of a sudden a Hitmonlee jumps out and just kicks you straight in the nuts. Or a 5ft scyther appears and slashes you in half. Or every year a gyarados appears in a random port city and just destroys everything. Lagos last year, Chicago this year, Singapore a decade ago, Rotterdam before that. Pidgeots fly at super sonic speeds and are large enough to prey on a golden retriever.
We would all be absolutely fucked if pokemon were real.
Sounds like the monster hunter universe doesn’t it? We’d build knives out of Scyther blades, armor out of Steelixes and have cities/communities wrecked by the occasional boss monster wandering about. And probably domesticate the Pikachu to be palicoes.
To be fair, monster hunter goes buck fucking wild with calamities though.
“Hey hunter, rumor has it, your next target is either the devil sent to destroy the world, or possibly the mother of all creation. Here’s some whetstones!”
“Sup hunter. Got a volcano on our hands. Do us a favor and kill it, would you? Don’t forget your lucky cape.”
“Oh hey! Hope you don’t mind a little wind, cause your next quest is to kill the god of hurricanes! Best to take a quick dip in the sauna before you go.”
“Hunter, how’s it going? I know this week’s been pretty crazy with the rogue fighter jet and the giant mech suit you killed already, but if you could just do me a solid and jump into that ominous pit and kill death itself for me, that’d be very cool of you. The chef made a nice fondue for you before you head out!”
“Why do guns exist in Pokémon?”
Pokémon:
I used to wish I lived in a world like Pokemon, with endless interesting creatures with crazy abilities
Then, I realized that Earth is that world, except we’ve just killed off most of the animal life. Even the fireflies… They used to be everywhere in summer, I recently met kids who had never seen one. I found two in the middle of the woods during summer - literally surrounded by miles of forest
We live on a dying paradise, and it’s depressing
The coolest thing about Pokemon, to me, was how all those creatures are also completely safe and easy to take care of as pets, and very easily domesticated by a 10 year old.
Like, fuck earth. I want a pet bear that fights for me.
In a world where Beedrill exists, I’m bringing fire pokemon absolutely everywhere. Hell, if they make a three foot cockroach pokemon, I’m never leaving the house again.
Oh no it’s hot. Why is it hot
