Despite being with my wife for nearly half my life, I’ve never had penetrative sex. It was originally because my wife has severe anxiety about things going inside her, but to be honest there’s some hesitancy from me now as well. I’ve gotten very used to how we have sex and it doesn’t involve penetration.

We have a partner now and I think it’s something that they’d be open to, but I’m actually pretty nervous about the whole thing.

My desires were always fairly unconventional but the way my wife’s and my sex life has developed has really reinforced that. My wife is essentially 100% top at this point. They have no real interest in reciprocation. They’re on the ace spectrum so their enjoyment is different. Every once in a blue moon they’ll ask for something but it generally doesn’t end with them orgasming. All of that to say my main contribution to my sex life has just been becoming enjoyable to watch. I’m usually very vocal and squirmy. I whimper, beg, plead, cry, scream, etc. lol.

It was somewhat validating that one of the first times the three of us had sex together our new partner said they loved what I was doing and that it was definitely turning them on. I felt a lot of pressure to reciprocate for my wife for so long because I didn’t want to be one of those lazy partners who doesn’t do anything, but that’s sort of what my wife wants out of it. Letting go of that was difficult for me. So actually hearing from someone else tell me that what I’m doing is actually enjoyable meant a lot. Not that I ever doubted my wife, but, you know how things are. Like when a stranger compliments your outfit as opposed to someone you know well.

So, that would be the “confession”. I’d never describe myself as a virgin, but I’ve definitely never had traditional sex.

Ready for Barbie, OP?