Of all of your interests, what is one that would be a “confession” to someone you’re in a new relationship with. When I say confession, I don’t mean a “Lets sit down and talk” thing, but something you’re hesitant to say immediately and would maybe be a little nervous about.
Mine would probably be my natural submissiveness to women. I’m switch but being submissive clicks with me mentally in a way that being dominant doesn’t. Many women I’ve known are submissive, so telling them I’m submissive to them would be something I’d be nervous about.
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M - Rape fetish. That’s something that wouldn’t come up for a loooooooooong time and only if I had some inkling that it wouldn’t trigger anything or blow up in my face or that she already had some fantasies like that. I guess it’s a somewhat common fantasy for some women too, but given the potentially violent nature of it, I wouldn’t want to open up some old trauma or give them the wrong idea. It’s weird to think about anyways, “Hey, I want you to pretend like you don’t want sex with me, but you’re going to let me have it anyways.” Like, wtf?
Depending on how you two meet it could be very hard or very easy. If you meet them in a sexual setting and they’re submissive, it’s pretty easy. If you meet them in a regular setting and they’re vanilla, it’s much more intimidating to find that out.
Despite being with my wife for nearly half my life, I’ve never had penetrative sex. It was originally because my wife has severe anxiety about things going inside her, but to be honest there’s some hesitancy from me now as well. I’ve gotten very used to how we have sex and it doesn’t involve penetration.
We have a partner now and I think it’s something that they’d be open to, but I’m actually pretty nervous about the whole thing.
My desires were always fairly unconventional but the way my wife’s and my sex life has developed has really reinforced that. My wife is essentially 100% top at this point. They have no real interest in reciprocation. They’re on the ace spectrum so their enjoyment is different. Every once in a blue moon they’ll ask for something but it generally doesn’t end with them orgasming. All of that to say my main contribution to my sex life has just been becoming enjoyable to watch. I’m usually very vocal and squirmy. I whimper, beg, plead, cry, scream, etc. lol.
It was somewhat validating that one of the first times the three of us had sex together our new partner said they loved what I was doing and that it was definitely turning them on. I felt a lot of pressure to reciprocate for my wife for so long because I didn’t want to be one of those lazy partners who doesn’t do anything, but that’s sort of what my wife wants out of it. Letting go of that was difficult for me. So actually hearing from someone else tell me that what I’m doing is actually enjoyable meant a lot. Not that I ever doubted my wife, but, you know how things are. Like when a stranger compliments your outfit as opposed to someone you know well.
So, that would be the “confession”. I’d never describe myself as a virgin, but I’ve definitely never had traditional sex.
It was somewhat validating that one of the first times the three of us had sex together our new partner said they loved what I was doing and that it was definitely turning them on. I felt a lot of pressure to reciprocate for my wife for so long because I didn’t want to be one of those lazy partners who doesn’t do anything, but that’s sort of what my wife wants out of it. Letting go of that was difficult for me. So actually hearing from someone else tell me that what I’m doing is actually enjoyable meant a lot. Not that I ever doubted my wife, but, you know how things are. Like when a stranger compliments your outfit as opposed to someone you know well.
That’s very fascinating. I hadn’t considered that situation but it makes sense. That would definitely fall under a consideration.
Good luck with everything. Seems like it could be a tough situation that you’re handling well.
I love when my partner pisses on me.
Especially if they eat something that makes it smell different like asparagus or coffee.