Xpost from casual conversations. Delete if it doesn’t fit.

In the final stages of moving from the deep south to a northern state.

I used to run a shop under a corporation. Long story, but I integrated the shop, and built something beautiful. I had to use a temp service to do a lot of my hiring, I hired lots of black folks because they were undervalued and I could give them a good environment and pay. Was just starting to hire women. COVID and Qanon blew it the fuck up.

Tomorrow I’ll be having lunch with two of my former crew. One of them is the only man I’ve ever called brother. He was my neighbor and best friend for years. I would have trusted him to help me hide a body. The other feller was a kind and gentle guy, had a bad divorce but was a teddy bear, was on the road back up.

They both went down the rabbit hole real bad.

I miss who they were and the shop we had. It was fucking jazz. I protected all of them from corporate. We made shit happen. I fought to get them more money and got fucked over myself.

I’ve lost my parents, my grandfather, my aunts and uncles and cousins to the insanity. Thank jeebus my grandmothers and one grandfather are dead.

Tomorrow I’m going to hug my brother and tell him goodbye. He isn’t really my brother anymore. I don’t trust him. I love him. He’s not the man I knew.

It hurts a lot. It broke my heart.

  • flappy@lemm.ee
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    4 months ago

    He’s not the man I knew.

    One thing I noticed about myself is that you tend to not present yourself in the best light, while you’re in the midst of an existential crisis.

  • Varyk@sh.itjust.works
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    4 months ago

    It’s good you’re making the move, I hope things work out up north.

    I had the same situation with some family. Rabbit hole.

    They’re not over it yet.

    • Machinist@lemmy.worldOP
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      4 months ago

      I don’t think they’ll ever get over it. It would give me such joy if they did come back, but I doubt they will.

      • Varyk@sh.itjust.works
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        4 months ago

        I’m of the same mind, it’ll either take decades of hindsight or a major medical emergency for any sort of rational dialogue to resume.

  • GhostedIC@sh.itjust.works
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    4 months ago

    You’re glad your grandparents are dead, are you sure you’re not the crazy, untrustworthy one?