The perfect way to mourn your mundane life.
People love to shit on linkedinlunatics (myself included) but people who think that you can get up at 11am, never exercise, never structure your day, and spend all day on lemmy and somehow achieve your goals are just as delusional.
This list might seem crazy to some people (some of the advice is hyper specific to this person’s specific lifestyle) but literally everything is a good idea on it. You don’t become successful at a thing unless you make a plan and structure your day around that priority. Learning how to say no to things is huge. People pleasing is a mental illness. If you have the ability to say no, and you’re not at risk of getting fired or letting down someone you care about, if it doesn’t serve your goals, you say no to it.
My biggest criticism is that I’m not really the one who sets my meeting schedule, even when I’m the one who sends the invite. Unless your entire company has a “no meetings until 2pm” policy this isn’t really doable. Especially if you work with people in multiple time zones.
I like organization… but I hate routines.
I keep reading work as worm.
“cues me into worm mode”
3 hours of deep worm.
Step 8: wake up for real this time. It’s 9:30 and you’re late.
Most people don’t get a chance to do those things. Wake up, commute while sending off kids, work dreadful shit, collect kids, shop, make dinner, relC 15, minutes, pass out, repeat.
Except. bank holiday comes 6 times a year. Cheers.
Yes, I’d like to see this list with four home school kids lol
It’s like going to battle, and in war, the enemy also makes plans!
And to quote Mike, everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.
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wake up whwnever, alarm usually foea off 8:30. Maybe i hit snooze a buncha times
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start work at 10. Wfh, pants optional
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work according to load, mostly fart about house.
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Take a long walk for lunch, usually blow out my step requirements
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fuck off work 3:30, go fuck around in garden until sun sets
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big fat dinner sitting on my arse watching telly with hubs, then gaming after he goes to bed at 9ish
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bed around 1ish under fat purring cat.
Pretty much my routine to a tee.
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Tldr guy only works 3 hours a day
Says right on the list that he schedules all of his meetings for the afternoon. The 3 hours of deep unbroken undistracted work in the morning (if he actually is able to pull it off) would definitely be a more productive work day than your average 9-5 office worker. It’s been shown in studies that the 40 hour work week of an average middle manager in an office produces very little value to a company, and is full of useless meetings and distractions that derail concentration.
I mean, same honestly. Thank god for remote working (but if any hiring managers are reading I totally work all day at home).
3 hours a day is pretty solid, but don’t tell the blue collars
They know, they knew before we admitted it to each other.
In all seriousness, 3 hours of actual solid work, uninterrupted by meetings or whatever… That’s not as unusual as it might sound. This survey puts the average worker at <3 productive hours per day, and this one at around 4 hours.
Office workers*
Pain
Here’s my morning routine:
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Wake up at 8 (assuming a crying baby doesn’t wake me up sooner)
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Change diapers
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Spend time with my wife and sons
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Walk to the grocery store with my toddler (3500 steps round trip or so)
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Drink a kombucha on the way home (coffee raises my cholesterol and gives me awful anxiety symptoms)
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Change diapers
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Take my toddler to the playground, weather permitting
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Have lunch with my wife and sons
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Read books to my toddler, change his diaper, and put him down for a nap
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Think about how I’m leaving the USA next year partially because American work culture is absolute trash
I’m on paternity leave and it’s been the best part of my career. As in not working at all is the best part of my career. How fucked is that?
I would gladly change diapers and hang out with screaming kids all day instead of dealing with my dumb ass coworkers and people who can’t honor a meeting invite planned weeks out but then expect me to “hop on a quick call” which then achieves nothing. Between the constant threat of layoffs and losing my livelihood and the political backdrop of having my family deported because they’re too dark a shade of brown and speak Spanish sometimes?
Fuck this place. I’m out.
Dealing with my toddler is frequently more rational than dealing with my coworkers. Most of em are good, but the ones that are outside my normal bubble drive me insane.
Paternity leave was the best part of my job, too. I wish I got more, and it’s criminal that many dads get very little, if any.
Also I don’t really know the best way to say “sorry for this weird mess of a country,” but I’m sorry. That sounds very stressful to say the least.
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I wake up at 5:30 because my arsehole boss insists that I’m at my desk at 7am.
As a result I’m tired all the time and get fuck all done.
“No meetings before 2pm”, “saying no is a superpower” yeah brill mate I’ll just say no to my boss multiple times a morning forever and absolutely won’t get fired for being difficult thanks Matt xo
I saw this multiple times already on Linkedin reposted with huge engagement.
While I understand this is borderline fiction, absolutely unrealistic and in my eyes an equivalent of those pictures with pretty girls laughing with a plate of salad promoting healthy eating, but for me the comment section of this post is the cherry on top cheering how “brilliant” this is. People are so fucked up on Linkedin.
I think people are fucked up on Linkedin because it’s a self-marketing site, so they are selling a fake version of themselves. Wait that sounds like another version of Facebook and Instagram…
This man’s colleague when he’s just wasted three hours doing work he didn’t have to: “but I sent you an email three hours ago about it?”
I prefer the other Matt Gray tbh, he’s funnier and doesn’t tell me to wake up at 5:30 when I’ve just gotten to sleep…
“I wake up at 5:30 because I fall asleep at 18:30. Everyone should try to live like this bro”
I fucking hate how it is only socially accepted to wake up early. Work life only centers around the early risers and everyone else must suffer. Want to start working at 09:30 and stay for longer? How about a meeting at 8:30? Just be a team player
I saw a meme the other day about early risers being an oppressing class, and I’ve thought about it a lot.
Morning people are an oppressive class.
The thing that’s so irritating to me isn’t the tone, isn’t the weird preaching, isn’t the push to follow on social media. What gets me (as it always does) is that assholes like this push their message as a one-size-fits-all message.
Assholes like this always think everyone else works just like them, and it makes me crazy.
