Only part I don’t buy is that they were like “ok fuck it” after work, like they were reluctant. Don’t pretend you weren’t working distracted all day, waiting to go play with those cows.

Is it possible my penis isn’t small, but my partner is just an unrepentant trollop?

That 3rd shake really is the best.

Lick it on the head to confuse it.

Pretty sus.

Do I pee while she’s still sitting on the toilet or do we take turns? Will flushing it together make a baby?

That’s why they’re blatantly doing away with separation of church and state.

“If you’ll recall, in our last class, you fucked me so good.”

I guess you could say I’m a libertariant.

Total aside: anyone else noticing sports gambling absolutely exploding in the U.S. the last few years? It’s gonna be a problem, guaranteed.

Pretty sure he was being sarcastic.

As an individual ant, I like those odds.

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He was going to have them laser-scanned for a Half-Life 3 level, but nevermind.

And by all accounts, runs a great company to work for. Tons of freedom to experiment. Small staff. Great pay and benefits.

D’awww.

Here, let me take your bags inside!

Lights on palm trees it is, then. I don’t want my learning from Floridians, thanks.

Lemmy Tickle

Mar-a-Lago, FL. Most of the rest of Florida. Texas.