I was wandering around on my first play through, trying to get a grip on the whole mess, and so far I’d only really seen some zombie soldiers and dudes on horses with big curved swords. They were still kicking my ass. I thought, maybe if I head south instead of north I’ll get to the easy zone. Suddenly the sky turns red and a malformed dog the size of a fucking house bites me in half. I respawned at my last site of grace, called the runes a loss, and went north.

I hate it because I love the way it looks, but I could never use one.

Let’s start with a big-ass “H”!

This is one of those unforgivable things.

Listen, we’ve all been there. It’s Tuesday, the whole week is ahead of you, and there isn’t anything good on TV. Sometimes you just need to do science. What’s the best ratio of baby oil to lube for cooking flank steak? The best ratio for checking the tire pressure in your car? How many times can you jump rope in a pool of baby oil with a lubricated Stretch Armstrong? These are questions that science hasn’t answered yet, and I’ll be damned if I besmirch Sean “P. Diddy” Combs good name because of the advancements he brought to the discipline of scie-- oh, hold on, I’m getting some new information. Ahh, I see. He’s one of those sex perverts. Uh-huh. That makes more sense. Very well, then, besmirch away.

That is a modesty wrap. Please, avert your eyes.

Looks like the sent Skroob through the teleporter, again.

This is my favorite one so far.

RIP to all of the Freshmen.

We were all worried about AI being a leading cause of misinformation, but it turns out the GOP still has at least one election cycle left in them.

I meant to respond to a thread about parables.

I’ve been sober plenty of times at 6am on long car rides up the east coast. Waffle House is fucking great.

It’s a fucking Tom Clancy novel.

Oh, my bad, wrong thread

Noem said Cricket had an “aggressive personality” and was “untrainable,” per the Guardian’s report. Noem took Cricket on a pheasant hunt with older dogs to try to teach the canine, but Cricket went “out of her mind with excitement, chasing all those birds and having the time of her life.”

…

After that, Noem said, “I realized I had to put her down.” She led Cricket to a gravel pit and shot and killed the dog.

Introducing the new Tesla Bunker®

5 days later: introducing the new Bezos Bunker® with a free month of Bunker Prime®

The most serious. I will go to court over it.

And cigarette cartons

This is survivorship bias. You can’t look at the chart for low-use curses. You have to look for what isn’t there, you rhino flossers.

I am the militant, radical left. I’m the socialist. I’m the atheist. I’m the one saying Kill Your Masters. And in this post I’m saying that one person has too much power.

How many voices would have to be raised to drown out one trust find baby with a record deal? It’s hilarious that until this happened this goddamned website was inundated with memes about Taylor Swift’s private jet habit, but now we’re all supposed to suck her dick because she said she’s voting for Harris and not Hitler? These fickle children.