Between grocery prices and 12 different streaming services who keep upping their prices, we’re getting gouged on the bread and circuses too.

He’s in a hoodie, take him out!

The day a dildo comes with WiFi and an integrated accelerometer. The vibration function is $7.99/month. For an extra $3.99/month, it extends three inches. I’m not sure why I joke about that, I’m sure it’s already a thing.