Try rice pilaf.

Speed cameras aren’t enough. Schools need all the traffic calming they can get.

Vegan Taco Bell.

Wasps aren’t evil. They are important pollinators and they are literally just hanging out. I am sick and tired of the wasp hate.

The stereotype is that vegans only eat cats and dogs and babies but it’s actually easier to find rabbits and elderly bearded dragons and such since the others are often fed animal products. I typically break into people’s homes at night and look for gerbils since they often die in horrible and mysterious ways, so it’s actually a mercy for me to stuff them directly into my mouth and swallow them whole. It’s so hard to find food as a vegan. I’m vegan btw.

Ethical serial killer here. I kill ethically because if I kill the person myself I get to feel like I’m participating in the circle of life and indigenous beliefs and traditional practices. Because I’m a lion. Like a lot of lions, I’m working on reducing my carbon footprint. And all these veegans say I’m bad. They say I’m a “carnist” which is funny because I have never heard that word before. I’ve actually never heard any words before and don’t know what any words mean. But actually. I am an ethical murderer and I kill less people than the veeegans because I don’t eat any farmed plants – only the people I personally kill outside in the woods. But they’re not really like human people because circle of life and indigenous beliefs. It’s ethical btw. And I’m switching to solar. Veeeegans think that’s bad. But they’re actually the bad ones. Because they hate people. I love people because I kill them. Just to prove how much of an ethical murderer I am, I’m writing an entire wall of text about it to look like I have a more informed opinion than the veeeeegans. I’m basically a saint when I ethically kill these people. I’m so connected to the people I kill. It’s spiritual. People that don’t kill people are too feeble-minded to understand.

What do you mean the post was about cat food? Me patting myself on the back for being an ethical murderer is totally on topic. You guys should now worship at my feet for being more ethical than the veeeeeegans. Feed me comments about how ethical I am. I’m so ethical. Tell me how I’m so ethical. Please. I need it. im vegan btw

It’s not my fault I’m burdened with being 100% objectively correct at all times. 😔

I stopped being scared of wasps after learning how to read their body language. Quiet buzzing and relaxed wings = calm, whereas loud buzzing and raised wings = mad. Plus, as long as you’re not allergic, a sting is just temporary pain, which definitely isn’t worth taking their life. Wasps are literally just animals, and we should be kind to them.