I’ve been thinking of getting a motorcycle, and Harley has no entry level bikes So new riders try a Honda or Kawasaki when young and broke and build brand loyalty to that, I’m sure.

Not surprising Harley is dying. All their stuff is so expensive you never get to figure out if it’s good or if they’re coasting on reputation while quality goes to shit or something.

Duality exists. He might have been awesome in a way they saw, even if his loud pipes were annoying to you.

Don’t know if he was, only that you got a limited view of this person, and it seems cruel to degenerate how other people mourn.

Because most people run on their personal experiences, and don’t do great when they have to think very far ahead or extrapolate and make connections.

If you’re lucky enough to be born into a conservative home that’s not bugshit crazy, and you’re lucky enough to not be TOO smart, neurodivergent, gay/lesbian/trans/etc. then you’ve probably never seen the full ugly face of conservatism because you were treated nicely.

Lots of conservatives will treat you perfectly politely…if they get to know you, and as long as you look white and clean-cut enough. As long as you give the right social signifiers, basically.

Most of my ex-conservative friends group was driven away from conservative family because we were abused in some obvious fashion, were gay/lesbian/trans, were neurodivergent, etc. We were different in ways that, ultimately, after a lot of pain, forced us to cut ties with family. (It was never our first choice though.)

But a woman who was lucky to be born into a family that treats her halfway decently won’t experience that sort of ugliness until an emergency happens and it’s leopards-eating-faces time.

And it’s VERY hard to rock the boat BEFORE something bad happens to you, when you know rocking it will have really bad consequences immediately. People don’t like to be shunned or kicked out of families, so if they’re not treated TOO badly they’ll toe the line and conform out of fear of the unknown and fear of losing everything they have and know.

I’m curious about two things. Will nesting birds or animals find this material tasty or good to gnaw on?

I always ask that ever since I learned vehicles using a more organic plastic for wiring harnesses suffer from shorts due to animals like mice nibbling the plastic because it smells tasty.

I remember as a kid, I was mystified by this other girl on the block who could do this. I didn’t understand why anyone would care. A car is a car?

Eventually I realized it’s because she was super into external social status signs. She wasn’t a gearhead, so she hadn’t picked it up the way guys do bonding over technical stats of whatever, but she was hyper-sensitive to social status, so she picked it up along with anything else related to fashion. And cars can be considered fashion, right up there with makeup and having the right purse.

Random addition to your post…

There’s early/limited studies suggesting the drug valproate, which is used for bipolar and epilepsy sometimes, can re-open the perfect pitch acquisition capabilities of the human brain even if the individual is no longer an infant and has aged past the language acquisition stage of childhood development.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3848041/

Different use of it in an 8 year old girl with language regression: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC11230735/

Acting, literally. Playing a character to entertain. Some characters are villains.

I think this is why random wrestling dudes sometimes successfully slide into Hollywood acting careers.

Roberts send bob pics, not dick pics.

Doesn’t help you now I’m sure, but I’ve found gently banging around the rim or lid of a jar on the concrete outside usually loosens the seal enough to open the jar.

(Outside on concrete because I don’t want to dent anything inside.)

I finally realized this guy’s name reminds me of some in house menswear brand at Sears or K-Mart or some other department store that suffered and wheezed and whimpered before going out of business.

I wonder if Ukraine is having an effect on attitudes.

Anyway, I can’t speak for others, but one thing I’ve come to realize through life experiences is that the best way to resolve differences is to behave civilly and talk. BUT. I’ve also seen that there are people who do not ascribe to or live by my preferences and ideals for this. There are people who don’t value rationality, there are people who can’t be shamed or pressured by society into behaving nicely and getting along with others. Those people respect the stick, and only the stick. I don’t want to use the stick. But these people do not live by my ideals (which are to talk things out and behave civilly), no matter how I say pretty please to them, and it’s foolish to project my values onto them when I see with my own eyes that they behave and react in patterns different to my own. They respect things that scare them or directly threaten them only, and continue to misbehave if all they’re going to get for it is a finger-wagging and a scolding.

So it seems very wise to “speak softly and carry a big stick”. The military is our stick. There are people out there who will behave in the most horrific uncivil ways right up until the moment they realize you have a big stick, then they’ll suddenly rein themselves in, and you can then be civil and talk things out. But that opportunity to talk doesn’t appear unless you actually have the stick when you’re dealing with folks of that sort of mentality.

It’s very important to look at your opponents with clear eyes and see what they ARE doing, not what you wish they would do, and not what you would do if you were in their shoes. As the saying goes, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.”

Weirdly enough, the only game I tried to play that didn’t run was this random Indy game. Didn’t even have fancy graphics, it was one step up from macromedia flash games

The AAA games I’ve played are fine on Linux. Baulders Gate, No Mans Sky, Fallout 76, Cyberpunk 2077, Crusader Kings III.

Without laws letting child workers maintain their own bank account in their own name without parents being co owners allowed to drain it at any time, children working become money pinatas for abusive parents.

I say this as someone who would have benefitted from being independent earlier. My uncle did have me work at 14, and when I went to the bank I found he had stolen every penny, and because I was a minor I had no legal recourse to get it back.

A few years later the courts emancipated me, but it didn’t return the money he had stolen. Mind you, he was not working at the time himself and he got a few hundred from the state a month to care for me, and he spent what he stole on computer parts so he could game.

Children working only is in the child’s benefit if there are ironclad laws allowing them to keep their money, and right now there is not.

I remember my grandma being referred to like that, and I always felt it horrifying that women essentially lost their own names in this way once in married Society basically changed your name to make you an accessory to a guy.

It’s actually worse, can make you really sick if you get unlucky

The part that gets me is this…

You can get salmonella from unpasteurized milk. This happens a lot…especially considering America pasteurizes the majority of its milk…but when you hear of a milk-related outbreak a lot of the time it’s from unpasteurized milk even though percent wise it’s a small portion of our milk supply.

Anyway. A healthy adult might get through salmonella ok. BUT. Salmonella can completely fuck up a 3 year old’s kidneys FOR LIFE. And it can be just as bad for the elderly.

These are both groups that have other people providing their food. If a 3 year old or child is given milk by mom and dad…well, they drink it. They have no choice in whether it’s pasteurized or not. That’s why government regulation of milk steps in, to make sure dumb people having babies don’t harm their kids through their poor choices.

Giving unpasteurized milk to kids is similar to anti-vaxxers not vaccinating their kids. Basically, the parent involved has gone haywire over any smaller/imagined detriment or benefit, and chooses the action that could bring the MOST harm while thinking they are taking the route of least harm.

With raw milk, parents think the “nutrients” are better or something (even though…you know…we cook most of our food so MOST of our food is heat treated), and the food poisoning from possible salmonella minor/non-existent, when reality the nutrient profile isn’t much different between pasteurized/unpasteurized milk, but the salmonella can kill the vulnerable or cripple their organs for life.

It all comes down to people being alive now in an era where we no longer have elders/grandparents telling others about how people used to DIE from these things.

People hear about getting cancer or dementia or whatever all the time, but haven’t actually seen the old-school childhood illnesses from tainted milk or viruses or the like, so people make the wrong choice because it’s not apparent from their own life experience how bad those illnesses were since they don’t have family that talks about people they knew who got sick and died. The science is too abstract for them to internalize, but “choosing your own food” feels good and feels like you’re in control…so people go down that route instead because they haven’t seen the consequences of salmonella in their own family or in their friends (because there’s a lot of barriers in places, including pasteurization of milk, to try to stop/prevent outbreaks.)

What solution would you suggest if there’s shipping damage to contain the leaking cleaning fluid so it doesn’t damage any nearby objects?

Grandma is a wise, WISE woman. Like, I can’t tell you how wise. And everyone should listen to her advice–men and women both. Have an account in YOUR name, and have enough stashed away in there so if things go tits up and all you have left is the shirt on your back, you can get an airplane ticket to someone who will help you get back on your feet. $2k sounds good to me, but even $100 can help massively if you’re in a dark place.

(And if you don’t have anyone you can get a plane ticket to–put even more in if you’re able, so you can keep a roof over your head and gas in your car if you have to suddenly reinvent your own life and have no friends or other family members to flee to.)

I grew up in an abusive home, and found out the horrifically hard way when I ran away at 16 that my uncle had been stealing out of my account, because minors are forced to have joint accounts instead of accounts in their own name. He purposefully stole the money I earned at work and took it, so when I needed it most when I ran away from home, it wasn’t there.

In my darkest hour, I needed money, because the ones who were supposed to love me didn’t actually love me and I hit my limit and I had to get out.

And my money wasn’t there. And this happened because I wasn’t allowed to have a bank account of my own. As a minor I was old enough to work–but not old enough to have my own bank account, and I had no legal recourse to get that money back once my guardian stole it from me.

And as I understand it, even if you’re an adult, you have no legal recourse to get money back if someone on a joint account with you takes out of it–even if you’re the one who earned the money to begin with. I would only have had recourse if the account had bee IN MY NAME ONLY.

I’m nowhere near grandma’s age up there, but it’s SO FUCKING common for abusers to steal your money as way to control you so you can’t leave. Having an account of your own with anywhere between $100 -$2,000 in it as an emergency fund is critical to your OWN survival. Everyone should have a separate bank account of their own with a little money in it for emergencies, even if they largely agree to join finances with a partner or spouse. Men AND women should have it. It’s not a betrayal of trust to give yourself a lifeline like that. You don’t know what life will bring you. Or take away.

And it’s not some “hiding assets in a divorce” trickery that some people crawling about these comments would say. Shoving $2k (or even less, because sometimes even an extra $100 can help in dire situations) into an account only YOU can touch isn’t divorce malfeasance, it’s not the same as shoving a fucking yacht or a bunch of stocks or whatever in there as a way to fuck over a divorcing spouse. It’s making sure if things go truly tits-up, you can get a plane ticket or uber or SOMETHING to get yourself to physical safety if it’s needed. It’s not swaning off in a golden parachute, it’s making sure you can put gas in your car and pay the insurance for a month or two if you’re suddenly living in it.

Honestly, for all of you saying “oh, my trust in my spouse would be broken if they did that!” and “oh, someone this paranoid isn’t even whole enough to have a relationship–they should stay single!”…well, let’s turn that around.

Why the hell would I want a spouse that LOVED ME SO LITTLE that having a $2k emergency fund in my own name in a bank account only I can access would break your heart to pieces?

Why is ME caring for MYSELF and my physical safety in the most minimal way possible something that will make you love me less? Why do you, a person supposedly in a relationship with me (or someone like me!) not love me enough to allow me to have an emergency escape plan that might keep me physically safe if something unexpected goes wrong? Why are you elevating your feelings over my SAFETY?

That selfish behavior is just as chilling to ME as my supposed “betrayal of trust” would be to you if I had a bank account kept secret from you.

Grandma in the Tweet above loves her grandkids. She’s not afraid of hurting her granddaughter’s feelings because she knows the advice might well keep her grandkid physically safe and alive to face another day.

This was a smaller moment, but similar to yours, OP, in that it revealed some unconscious thinking in my head.

But I was playing Crusader Kings II quite a few years back. And I basically had a King with the Genius trait and some other stuff I could pass down to his kids. I think I had somehow lucked into the Byzantine Empire or something, so I was basically seducing and inviting a bunch of lovers with other traits from all around the world (north and south, east and west) so I could spread Genius around. I wanted a smart council full of my bastards, heh.

So my genius slut-king has a bunch of kids. I’m naming them after my absolute favorite characters from books and such, because they’re part of my family and dynasty–so I’m giving them names that have a lot of personal “worth” to me.

Then I get to the kid in my dynasty who isn’t white, and I couldn’t figure out what name to give her. I had all these awesome names that I was using over and over through the generations in my dynasty, but somehow none that felt “right” for her. I tried and tried to choose a name, and none “fit”.

And after a while, it suddenly hit me in the face how SUBTLE racism can be. This was just a video game, but I had something that was “high worth” to me to give out, these favorite character names, and I was handing them out like candy until I got to the one kid and struggled, making all sorts of excuses why this not-white video game kid couldn’t get the name of this other character I really liked.

Now, if I was doing that in a frickin’ video game, imagine what people are doing with REAL LIFE things that are “high worth” to them. Hiring at jobs, giving gifts and presents, selling a house, etc.

And it wasn’t like I was going around in the game consciously picking which kids to screw over. (I mean, moreso than you usually do in Crusader Kings, the game where people glitch themselves into marrying their horses and creating witch covens with devil-babies so they can spread satanism across the world.) I ended up screwing this virtual kid over because I was going on this “gut feeling” that my really cool favorite-character names just somehow “weren’t right” for her, even though that frickin’ inbred cousin over there with a family tree like a wreath was proudly wearing it already.

So yeah. Learned a big lesson on how internal gut feelings influence you to do racist shit really subtly sometimes.

So, caveat here that I don’t have ADHD myself, but I have two friends who do.

One of my friends had a mother that was very shaming and critical when my friend with ADHD got distracted or forgot things. Like, “You’re so smart I don’t see why you can’t Do The Thing, it should be so simple!” and “Oh, she’ll forget her house keys and come crying to me to bring them to her!” (As if my friend was entitled or something–but she’s actually one of the most humble and sweet people I know, I have no idea why her mom has adopted this martyr persona where things she does on her own are somehow my friend’s fault. Her mother seems to struggle with anxiety, and projects it on everyone around her–she tries to deal with it by controlling everyone through passive aggressive remarks. Obviously since ADHD has rejection sensitivity sometimes, it hits my friend hard.)

For another person in another family, it might have been different, but for my friend, because her mom was always on the, “You’re so smart, why can’t you Do The Thing, it’s so simple!” train, the distractions and forgetfulness and stuff got rolled up with trauma because not only was her brain distracting her all the time, but when a task WAS remembered, there’s a bunch of shame and trauma getting into the mix on top of the ADHD symptoms. Like, she already had tons of trouble trying to Do The Thing, but her mom made it so there was also shame and anxiety pulling her attention away on top of the baseline ADHD.

So maybe “technically” it’s depression or anxiety or whatever–but it seems a fairly common experience for folks with neurodivergance who are surrounded by family who just “can’t understand” why they don’t “do the thing”.

I don’t have ADHD like I said, but I have C-PTSD and grew up with family that is schizophrenic (I mean this very literally–several family members formally diagnosed, etc.), so when my C-PTSD stuff goes off due to stress, my gut instinct isn’t to Do The Thing to fix it, because in my experience my family was so chaotic that it honestly didn’t matter if I did or didn’t Do The Thing. My status of “in trouble” or “not in trouble” would be in flux according to THEIR mood, not what I actually had done, so it doesn’t register on me when I’m upset that “doing the thing” might fix the bad feelings by appeasing the other person.

So I ran into a lot of issues were my stress response makes me flee stressful things (like school homework when I was young, or cleaning, or paperwork deadlines for dr or whatever), which has a negative feedback cycle of, “Why didn’t you do this, it’s so easy!” kicking up shame, which makes me flee, which makes more shame, on and on and on in a shit cycle.

My friend and I had very different home lives, but the thing we shared here was mental differences (her ADHD, my trauma from a shit home life) getting wound up with anxiety/depression that are intimately attached to the shaming others/society does if it perceives us to be “lazy” when we’re actually panicking/afraid/guilty/hurting inside.