It’s always fun when a relative admits they don’t care about your child’s safety.

My garden pots don’t look this good after I’ve had them for a month

Wait a minute, that’s not the points inspector…

My guy stopped growing them and raised turtles instead,

I wish my resume looked that good.

Nah, in the future we’ll have Space Force and no OSHA

I think you thinking people are lazy for not typing the way you do says more about you than it does about them ;)

You don’t need to use a period on the internet if it’s the end of a line. The line break signals the end of the sentence, unless maybe they trailed off in

The kill command allows you to specify which type of kill signal you want to send. -9 sends signal 9 or SIGKILL, and we’re sending it to pid 1.

That would force kill systemd, which I just have to assume will send your computer to a crashing halt.

The echo command is writing "c" to a file at /proc/sysrq-trigger which I don’t really know how it works but this suggests you’ll “crash the system without first unmounting file systems or syncing disks attached to the system.”

I haven’t installed fuck so I’m not sure how that works

I will not eat green eggs for fun,

If you try, I’ll feed you gun.

The warning shots you have ignored,

Time to send you to your lord

I had a D&D character who used a Lucerne Hammer, which I’m seeing is essentially a bec de corbin.

The flail seems fun, I mean who doesn’t like moving parts and swingy things? I hear they were useful for reaching around shields. With my luck, I’d probably kill myself trying to use it.

The caveman in me calls out for rock though. It’s the ultimate finishing move.

I genuinely thought erudite was a noun. Thanks, TIL

I’ll take a crack at this one. For what it’s worth, I think the first couple are just loanwords from another language which sometimes gets used incorrectly, and the last three are uncommon words in conversation. Know your audience.

“This isn’t a meeting about the budget per se”

“This isn’t exactly a meeting about the budget”

“The victim met their demise vis a vis poodle attack”

“The victim met their demise by way of poodle attack.”

“Steve’s a real erudite.”

“Steve’s a real reader.”

“Tom and Jerry is a fun cartoon because of the juxtaposition of the relationship between cat and mouse.”

“Tom and Jerry is a fun cartoon because of the oppositeness of the relationship between cat and mouse”

“I don’t understand, can you elucidate on that?”

“I don’t understand, can you explain?”

Bone spurs go brrrr

I don’t know if I’d call selling plasma a scam, but it doesn’t really feel like a good thing either. I know people on a fixed income where this is one of the only ways they can make some extra cash, so I understand why people would do it.

Like, sure, you get money for your fluids that you’ll replenish naturally and that has its appeal. But for a lot of people it’s a slippery slope argument about what parts of your body you should be able to sell.

If you’re economically depressed (the system is working as intended) then you might be tempted to start selling organs. Would you accept five figures for a kindey or cornea? Would you sell your heart or liver for six?

You might even be able to argue that it’s a noble sacrifice to give your life to secure your family’s comfort. But there’s something to be said about being forced into that position in the first place.

I gotchu

“We can’t force our people to work, so let’s call on someone who can!”

When I was growing up you’d hear stories about how the local Chinese immigrants would eat neighborhood cats when they caught them.

But our “Chinese” neighbours were actually Portuguese, and vegetarian.

Racists are going to be racist, regardless of reality

I learned this when I was a wee lad: I was playing Runescape and trying to solve a quest I was stuck on with a walkthrough. The guide said that the macguffin was on the first floor of some building, and I must have spent hours looking on the ground floor with no luck.

I finally asked my big brother for help and he said, “Have you tried looking upstairs?” And there it was, blew my mind.

Imagine if there was a train to the hospital that also did triage.

So you get on the hospital line and a nurse determines if you need urgent care. They could take you to a less crowded hospital further down the line or dispatch paramedics to next stop.