• zante@lemmy.wtf
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    2 months ago

    Food guide;

    • British food is tasteless
    • French food is pretentious
    • italian food takes all afternoon
    • American food is poisonous
    • Indian food is special because it uses something called “spice” and no one else does apparently
    • asians eat rice
    • anyone east of Berlin eats either turnips or caviar

    What did I miss ?

    • PugJesus@lemmy.worldOPM
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      2 months ago

      American food is poisonous

      American food is grease and sugar. Pure grease and sugar. Sometimes combined. God, I want a funnel cake right now.

      Dammit, I just realized I haven’t had a funnel cake in literal years. How sad.

      • AEsheron@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        3 things that will make anything better, fat, sugar, and salt. If your dish isn’t doing it for you, just keep adding at least one of those three, based on the dish, and eventually it will be delicious.

        • PlantJam@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          Acid is another magic ingredient. Lemon juice, vinegar, or even just straight citric acid from a shaker if you don’t want to add more liquid. Sometimes something will taste like it needs more salt, but adding a touch of acid is actually what it needed.

      • BearOfaTime@lemm.ee
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        2 months ago

        And funnel cakes are arguably Eastern European/Germanic. It’s a similar batter as Dutch Baby (think Dutch as in “Deutsch”), aka German Pancake (and also popovers). There’s a slight change for each one, but essentially an eggy batter with no leavening.

        Though I’d guess every country has a version of it, and brought it with them to the US.

        • PugJesus@lemmy.worldOPM
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          2 months ago

          Unfortunately, my limited mobility (and income for that matter) put the kibosh on that. Or at least make it more trouble than it’s worth. I’ll have to make one myself one of these days.

      • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        I’ve never had a funnel cake before. I almost had one over the weekend at the fair, but I decided to try an elephant ear for the first time ever. It was okay. A bit too much sugar for me.

        • BearOfaTime@lemm.ee
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          2 months ago

          Oh, my poor child. I’d mail you one if I could.

          Alton covers it in Good Eats “Popover Sometime”. Popovers use a similar batter.

          Stupid easy to make. My mother wasn’t much of a cook (bless her heart), and still taught us to make them as kids.

        • PugJesus@lemmy.worldOPM
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          2 months ago

          Do you like donuts and/or fritters? If so, imagine them combined in a vaguely circular, bumpy, crunchy disc. Funnel cakes are amazing - if you eat them plain, there’s not a lot of sugar too. Of course, the classic is with all sorts of sugary condiments crusting the top…

          • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.world
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            2 months ago

            I enjoy fresh donuts that aren’t overly sweet. I went to Krispy Kreme when it opened in my city, pretty excited because of its popularity, thinking I was going to get the best donut I’ve ever tasted. It was disgusting. I felt like I was eating a sugar soaked sponge. So, too much sugar ruins something for me, but a savory and sweet donut is pretty tasty.

            • PugJesus@lemmy.worldOPM
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              2 months ago

              I like a good plain donut (and dislike Krispy Kreme) myself. I think you’d like a good funnel cake!

    • khannie@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Indian food is special because it uses something called “spice” and no one else does apparently

      Was in Hyderabad for work a few times about 10-15 years ago and in fairness, India is the absolute GOAT of spicing food. Like every dish is flavourful but not necessarily spicy. Office canteen food costing about 40c served on a prison tray - Incredible. Hell even the airport food was delicious.

      • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        If you want more vegetarian dishes that aren’t just soy pretending to be a meat dish (and usually disappointing), try out some Indian dishes. A decent portion of their population is vegetarian for religious reasons and they’ve made the best of it. I went to a vegetarian Indian wedding once and didn’t miss having meat at all.

        I make dol as part of my normal rotation and even my daughter loves it when I was expecting her to be disappointed with what was mainly lentils and spinach served with flatbread. But the little bit that isn’t lentils and spinach is just as important.

      • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        Mexico also loves their spices. And the Middle East. And Nepal and China (not sure if they both count as Southeast Asian or if that’s mainly the peninsula South of China).

    • Cryophilia@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Russians exist on a diet of pure vodka

      Simply looking at Mexican food will give you explosive diarrhea