I have set my new name everywhere I can in the AppleID settings but the old name is still showing up in this place, and maybe in other places which I haven’t seen yet. But how can I get my chosen name to show up here?
(for clarity, this is the profile picture selection on iPadOS)
Solution: The solution for me was that I had to change my name in the contacts.
More comprehensive solution here
I’m glad you ask about things you don’t know. You’re a smart person.
A dead name is a person’s given name, in the context of a person having transitioned to a different gender and also changing their name to match the gender they identify as. It is bad form to then continue to call them by their birth name.