• meep_launcher@lemm.eeM
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    1 day ago

    Better buy yourself a Subaru, a North face jacket, a climbing gym membership, and some weed and Zoloft.

    • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.zip
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      12 hours ago

      Don’t forget your socks and sandals, your SAD happy lamp, knowledge of Ezell’s lore, and oh right, drink your coffee at Starbucks even though you pretend to be anti-corpoate.

      Finally: You must hit yourself in the head with a brick untill the knowledge of how to safely drive in the rain has left your mind.

      Don’t increase your following distance, keep using bald tires, merge even more abrutly and erratically, and actually turn off your headlights that you normally have on full blast at all other times.

      Bonus:

      Complain about how the summers are too cloudy and cold, call I5 ‘the 5’, and act surprised when people already know you’re actually from California.

      • meep_launcher@lemm.eeM
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        11 hours ago

        90% is California transplant flags

        Next 10% is saying “I make $300k creating internal systems for streamlining data aggregation for business needs. Dang I love this city, it just needs another glass building- that theater/ historic landmark/ orphanage could totally be bulldozed”