Years later, I looked at my wedding party of six groomsmen and realized that every single one of them had, like me, grown up in a small Ohio town before leaving for Ohio State. To a man, all of them had found that couches coud satisfy them more than a women ever could, and that books are really just zipped HTML, and nobody really checks PGP signatures.
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You don’t even have to spread misinformation to make him look like a complete whacko. He literally posted dolphin porn to his social media.
Now let’s not be hasty. We don’t know he was searching for porn. All we know for sure is that the search query he typed in contained the words “woman” and “dolphin”. There are plenty of legitimate reasons to search those two words together, like, uhh…
Umm…
For some reason that article doesn’t link to it, but it is a real tweet he made in February (and didn’t even delete after being called out for the highlighted search terms in his screenshot).
I don’t get it. So he did not fuck a couch? Did he just want to become a couch?
He doesn’t want to fuck a couch or be fucked by a couch, he wants to be the couch doing the fucking
They call them couchies and they go to conventions in couchsuits
It’s crazy that people think JD Vance had sex with a couch. There’s no evidence JD Vance had sex with a couch. It’s liberals that are perpetuating the idea that JD Vance had sex with a couch. JD Vance has specifically denied that he has had bare skin contact with a couch within a 5 year period. It’s ludicrous that JD Vance was banned from a Cleveland area IKEA after having intercourse with a KIVIK Sofa Chaise.
I’ll repeat, there is no evidence to believe JD Vance had sex with a couch. JD Vance is not a couchfucker.
A chaise lounger is not a true couch. He is a seat-fucker.
Some say his sexual awakening was with a three-legged stool.
